woof. the coffee’s good today.

Blah blah fricken blah.

(^How I express myself articulately.)

Allow me to introduce myself. My name’s Audrey, and I’m a little hungover this morning (it’s 1:35pm). I woke up today feeling like I’d been runover by a truck (not an infrequent feeling when I wake up dehydrated), and ended up walking to the 7/11 down the block to buy a pack of smokes. Yeah, I know. I’m still trying to quit, but sometimes you need a break from the kind of grueling soul-crushing pain that inspires. I ended up sucking down my Newport somewhere between 7/11 and my little apartment building, seated behind a bus stop, slumped over in yesterday’s clothes with only half of yesterday’s make-up hanging onto my skin.

So I’m thinking–and I’ve been thinking for a while now, mulling it over in the back of my head–that I need a change. A smarter set of tools to manage my self care, my attitude towards challenges (both good and bad), and my progress towards goals. Y’know; I need to explore a little more, reach out of my comfort zone, and start connecting with people and places and ideas that really matter to me.

Sure, people in magazines and TV shows don’t need this kind of crapola. They wake up with fresh, glowing skin every morning and bounce from objective to objective in their daily lives without a negative thought, no sighing allowed. Perfect people don’t have to work on the way they internally process the world around them. Duh. They’re perfect.

I need this kind of crapola.

It’s not just because I’m bipolar and tend to swing high and low (sometimes real low). It’s not just because I’m an amateur writer trying to figure out how to have the wherewithall to make my craft a stronger feature of my life. To be honest, there’s really only one ‘just because’ that suits me.

It’s just because I’m human, damn it.

If anyone, myself included, is going to label me, let’s start with that one.

So here I am, drinking coffee and working on a blog (something I’ve wanted to do for the past decade, but really never had even more than half the nerve that posting something honest required). Join me while I talk to myself, and feel free to drop a word yourself.

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Published by Damaged Chemistry

The writer of this blog lives in Seattle with her fiancé and small dog, where she enjoys swearing, quitting smoking, and pretending to be altogether rather more tough than I would say she is.

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